


Half Heard Conversations and Closed Doors

by Chillmaster3000



Series: Cerulean AU [3]
Category: The West Wing
Genre: Gen, Humor, Sexual Humor, it's not what it seems at first
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-22
Updated: 2014-08-21
Packaged: 2018-02-14 05:07:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2179071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chillmaster3000/pseuds/Chillmaster3000
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oneshots in the Cerulean AU. Somehow, they both involve people mishearing conversations.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Very Definition of Ludicrous

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place before Hearts and Minds, though I suppose it would fit in just as well afterward.

“Oh, for God's sake, Toby, It’s not that hard!” Bartlet’s voice carried out of the Oval when Charlie opened the door. He and Leo exchanged a confused look as Toby replied: 

“Mr. President, you have had a lot of crazy ideas, but this by far has to be the most illogical and insufferable-” 

“What the hell is going on here?” Leo asked, coming into the room. Toby and the President were standing in the Oval, clearly at an impasse. Neither was red in the face yet, so it wasn’t as bad as Leo had thought. 

“Would you please explain to Toby that I’m right?” the President said. He looked as though Toby had offended every sensibility he possessed. 

“Would you please tell the president that his idea, while well-intentioned, is the very definition of the word ludicrous?” Toby said. His expression was a little less dramatic; it was what he often adopted when dealing with some of Sam’s more out there ideas. 

“Depends on what the idea is,” Leo said, more than a little curious. 

“Toby thinks I can’t teach Cerulean chess!” Bartlet huffed. 

“Chess?” Leo repeated. 

“Yes, chess. A game that is difficult for adults, let alone a six-year-old,” Toby said. 

“My girls learned chess as children!” 

“You have got to be kidding me. Are we seriously spending time on this?” Leo asked. 

“It’s an important issue, Leo,” the President insisted.

“It really isn't, Mr. President,” the Chief of Staff replied. “If you two really want an answer, you can ask Sam or Cerulean what they think. In the meantime, can we talk about something a little more urgent?”


	2. Haven't You People Ever Heard of Opening The Goddamn Door?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh hears something pretty odd from C.J.'s office. Post Hearts and Minds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This popped into my head when I wrote a particular scene in Hearts and Minds. I had to write it down because it was so damn funny.

“Slowly. Slowly, Sam!” 

“I am going slowly!” 

“You are not! You’re going too fast!” 

“How long am I supposed to be doing this, C.J.? I don’t have all day!” 

“You are going to hurt somebody at that rate! Slow down, for Pete’s sake!” Josh stopped outside C.J.’s office, thinking he could not have heard what he just thought he heard. He turned to Carol. 

“What the hell is going on in there?” Carol sighed. She got up from her desk and yanked the door open. Josh shut his eyes in preparation. 

“Josh? Are you okay?” Sam asked. Josh opened his eyes hesitantly to see Sam and C.J. standing, fully clothed, over one of those mannequin heads little girls used to pretend they were hairstylists. Sam had what looked like the beginnings of a sloppy braid in one hand and a comb in the other. 

“What are you doing?” Josh said slowly. 

“C.J.’s teaching me how to braid Cerulean’s hair.” 

“I’m trying, anyway,” C.J. added. “How would you like it if I ripped the comb through your hair, Spanky? It hurts even more with curls.” 

“It can’t be that bad-” C.J. grabbed a chunk of Sam’s hair and yanked. “Ow! Jesus, C.J.!” 

“Slower,” the Press Secretary ordered again. “Or your daughter will hide every time you pull out the comb.” 

“Fine, slower,” Sam grumbled. Josh turned back to Carol, who looked more than a little annoyed. 

“They’ve been at this for half an hour. Already three people have walked by and thought the same thing you did,” she said. “I’m thinking of just leaving the door open.” Josh nodded. 

“Good idea.”


End file.
